Wednesday, March 16, 2005

the dark side of me...

hmmm...seems that sometimes somethings and some people cant be trusted that well...welll and if my intention is to help you to understand your situation better and help you to reach your goals...but then the next moment you turn your back and betray me...haha...careful who you are dealing with...

yes i can be honest with you..i got nothing to hide... i got nothing to fear...if people wan to view me in this certain way then so be it...i dun care....but i am defineatly someone u can talk too and listen to your troubles, but depends on how impt u are to me...i am just like a devil....you are sellin me a part of yourself...that when i got this info i can use it how i wan it....but mostly i use this to help you and the people around you...but then if you dun understand my purpose and my intention and you go and assume something that is not....friend you are dependin with the devil indisguse....and when the devil inside of me is unhappy...wreid and horrible things starts to happen..

i basically hav two sides of me....one side is the good side which i protray to everyone...the side of me that appears happy, trusting, honest, quiet, quite friendly and blah blah....but there is the other side of me that scares others and myself sometimes...

the darker side of me...which uses all the info i gathered and use them to my advatange and myself only....the part of me that will never smile at you...that will mark you as an enemy of me for the rest of my life...i will hunt you dwn and make you feel wat i felt...but much worse.....i bring you to a place that u which you wished that u didnt go...and u wished that u didnt noe me in the first place...

this dark side of me doesnt hav any motivation to live on anymore...thus i couldnt care more abt my life...and if i were to die...you will be comin with me...what i hav i done in this dark side of mine...i hav threaten my own sis at knifepoint...with abt an 20cm knife... i have stalk my enemy dwn for days followin his every moves...studyin him....understandin him...and wait for the perfect time to go in for the kill... i am jus the silent killer type...waitin stalkin you...haha dun play with me... whether it is relationship or friends problem or personal problems or school work problems....there is jus a limit to my anger and temper...

and so the cold war with another person begins...

currently i hav 3 to 4 cold wars...haha lets see how many wars i can break out...

to all my frineds out there..dun be scare of me...i jus a friendly guy...but if wan to tell me something...said that u dun wan me to tell toher..i will not...thats a promise to my heart..

i am really sry from the bottom of my heart....

but bein a loner all my life is not cool...but a sad and lonely journey...

JooL at 10:41 PM

3 comments

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Haiz..guess this is the end of me and her...

haiz... i and her are no more....i came to this course and new school hoping to meet that someone...or just someone i can turn to when i need help...but i guess i will not....instead of losing just one friend...now i hav lost two....but i guess they are better together than i am with her....if she is happy i am happy too...

finally finished my design history project...was really nervous durin the presentation...cause maybe cause she was there...but i guess from now on to the date that i graudate with my dipolma...i will hav to forget totally about her...not even saying her name...or noticing her presense.... i guess that is the best way out of this...haha should hav listened to the lecturers in the begining...they said dun fall for any of your classmates....cause the outcome can be very good or very bad....i guess for my case.. it is the very bad....

try to stop thinkning of her....i mean even though how bad she was....i can accpet it...but i guess it is mainly my fault...haiz...should have said anything at all...should hav just let things flow....all i can i am or i try to be a honest person..and hope that anyone else can be honest with me too...

DONT THINK ABOUT IT ANYMORE.....it is not worth it...she is just out of your league...just like any other gal that u hav ever made....just keep meeting the wrong ppl...just my luck

if i will wait for her my whole life just to have a conversation with her....i will wait till the day i die....to hav a chance to start again..

guess this is a lesson for me to learnt form my mistakes....i have to be more considerate to others' feelings and the condition that they are in....not to rush things...just let time tell...let fate decide....i will try my best to not let another gal cry...or break her heart...haiz...wat to do wat to do.....???

JooL at 8:30 PM

2 comments